Enjoying life's adventures in a secluded mountain cabin

Archive for April, 2012

Rainy Days

I do not like rainy days.  Never have.  Never will.  At times, rainy days have been just enough to send me right on over the edge to deep, dark depressions that have involved massive amounts of self-loathing, embarrassing thoughts of woe-is-me, and endless tears that seem to erupt from a  fount of pure, salty relief somewhere deep inside.  No, I’ve never been clinically diagnosed with depression, and I’m not now, nor have I ever been, on any kind of antidepressants.  I just really don’t like rainy days.

That being said, for whatever reason, today’s not been too bad.  It’s been soupy, cloudy, foggy, and misty all morning long here at the cabin, but I’ve not been overcome with that God-awful sensation that creeps up on me at the first sign of a rain cloud.  I’ve not wanted to crawl back under my covers and hide from the world.  I’ve not felt that all too familiar tightening in my throat, that at times, threatens to consume me and results in an eruption of tears that come on so suddenly that they sometimes completely take me by surprise.

Today has been different.  Today, for the first time in a very long time, I’ve felt a little like myself again.  Rainy days used to mean pj’s, long naps, veggin’ out on the couch, and taking a minute to just be.  Well today, I’m daring to dream that I might be able to enjoy this entire rainy day without shedding a single tear.  I’ll let y’all know how it goes.

Time Heals All Wounds

They say that time heals all wounds.  I’ve lived on this earth long enough to know that there’s some truth to this statement.  Does that mean that I’ve developed the patience required to wait out this healing period without griping, moaning, crying, lashing out, and feeling, at times, utterly alone on this sometimes arduous journey?  No.  Of course not.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I’m a very vocal person.  I don’t internalize emotions and I’m pretty lousy at trying to conceal them, especially from the people closest to me.  One look, and pretty much anyone who knows me knows when something’s not right.  One look, and they can see the sadness, or happiness, or fear, or delight in the world dancing in my eyes.  One look, and they can tell if everything is right in my world, or if it’s all off balance and dangling just on the precipice of disaster and gloom and doom.  One look.

So if time truly does heal all wounds, as they say it does, then in time, I should be as right as rain one day, hopefully in the near future.  Until then, I apologize for the lapse in blogging to the handful of people out there who enjoy reading my thoughts.  It’s Spring up here on the mountain and we’ve got all kinds of things going on to write about and photograph.  I’ll hopefully be sharing more very soon.

Until then, I’ll be waiting on time….

Tag Cloud