Have you ever tried really hard to deny something about yourself, only to have it later come back and bite you in the butt?
Well, I have been in a deep, dark denial for the past couple of days and last night, it finally came back and bit me in the hiney. Is that a word? It is down here in the South. Nope, evidently not. I just looked it up on Dictionary.com and no results were found for hiney. Well, for all you folks that don’t speak fluent Southernese. Wait. I don’t think that’s a word, either. Oh well. Anyway, hiney means butt and Southernese is our special vernacular down here in the South.
Anyway, I digress.
I’ve been battling a runny nose for a few days now and I’ve kept repeating, both to myself and to others, that I am not sick. I am not sick! I tried the whole “positive thinking” thing. I kept putting my positive thoughts out into the universe, hoping desperately that I would not, in fact, be sick.
Well, so much for all that optimistic crap.
And I vehemently despise being sick!
I think I’d rather go through a pelvic exam than have a runny nose. That may seem absurd to some, but honestly, I just really, really hate having to blow my nose every ten minutes. I hate what happens to my nose after I’ve had to blow it every ten minutes for three days straight. I hate the whole ick factor involved with blowing slimy mucus out of my body and into a never thick enough tissue to keep me from having the eewy thoughts of snot touching my hands, even though it rarely ever happens. I hate the whole idea of having a cold.
I don’t have time to get sick. I’ve got things to do, damn it!
Alas, getting sick falls right into that category of things I really don’t have any control over in this world. No matter how hard I try to avoid it, I still end up getting sick occasionally.
Do you think perhaps that’s why I hate being sick so much? ‘Cause I don’t have any control over it?