Enjoying life's adventures in a secluded mountain cabin

Letting Go

After all the drama and teeth gnashing that’s been going on around here for the past few weeks dealing with teenage angst, you’d think that God, the Universe, Mother Earth, Zeus, and Karma woulda got together and decided that I just really didn’t need anything else to go wrong.  Evidently this, as they say, was wishful thinking.

Last night I had to part with something that I’ve had for a very long time.  Something that’s very dear to me and has always brought me comfort over the years.  Something that I’ve kept for far too long simply because I just couldn’t bear the thought of letting go.

After having what can only be described as a “slap in the face” kinda morning, the afternoon went rather smoothly once my son got home from school.  He managed to make it through the day without getting into any trouble there and once he was home, he did what was required of him to fulfill part of his punishment for his actions over the past few weeks without complaining or being a mouthy little pain in the you know what.  I didn’t have to argue with him and I actually got to carry on a pleasant little conversation with him.  Things were going pretty well.

Just when you think things are looking up, that’s usually when the rug gets snatched right out from under you.

I went to put on my very favorite pair of pj pants and the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.  I couldn’t wear these anymore.  Not because they were too little or too big.  They’ve been waaaaaay too big for a looooooong time now.  Mountain Man and I both could probably have fit into these things!  No, standing there, looking at my wonderfully beloved pj pants, I realized that they were literally falling apart.  Ok.  Ok.  So, I didn’t just realize this last night.  I’ve known for a long time that they were falling apart.  What can I say?  Sometimes, ignorance in bliss.

They’ve had a tear in the bottom of the right leg for over two years now where they got caught on the side of a box that was sitting in the middle of Mountain Man’s living room, (which has since become my living room, too).  But the top of them had started to fray about a year ago where the little blue ribbon that ties in the front is stitched around the waist.  Three or four months ago, that insignificant fraying started morphing into a hole in one spot and it’s just kept getting bigger and bigger.

I’ve known this day was coming for quite some time now.  I just really wasn’t expecting it to happen so soon.  Last night, I really needed  those pj pants.  They’re comfy and cozy and they always somehow manage to make me feel better when I’m wearing them.  If only I could’ve just worn them one last time last night.  Just one more evening spent basking in their comfort and security.  Was that too much to ask?

Evidently, yes.  After I got them on, I noticed that the once quarter sized hole had somehow morphed into a softball sized hole and upon further inspection, there were more little holes and tears in the fabric all around the pretty blue ribbon.  The cloth was so thin in places, I could hear it tearing as I was attempting in vain to tie that blue ribbon and wear them just one more time.

At last, I finally conceded and just took them off.  As I stood there looking at my poor, pitiful pj pants that had gotten me through so many different days and nights, I realized that there was no saving them.  I’m not usually one to throw out clothes if they still fit, (which remember, these particular pj pants didn’t,) or if I can fix them myself with a simple stitch.  These poor things were so far beyond fixing and it just floored me that I had held onto them for as long as I have, trying desperately to put off the inevitable for as long as I could.

After a moment of silence for my pj pants, I found it wasn’t nearly as difficult as I’d thought it was gonna be to just ball them up and toss them in the trash can.  I mean, yeah, it stunk having to say goodbye to one of my favorite articles of clothing, but it was almost freeing, too.  Cathartic in a strange sort of way.

I’m sure that I’ll find comfort in another pair of pj pants someday.  I just hope that day comes sooner rather than later.


Comments on: "Letting Go" (2)

  1. I can certainly relate to having to give up something that gives you comfort. Many times the old and really worn out are the softest and most comfortable. I recently threw a fitted sheet out because it was time. It was a lovely sheet…so soft but it had to go.

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