My whole life, I’ve always been known as a hot-tempered, passionate gal who doesn’t care one bit to let you know exactly what’s on my mind at any given time, regarding any given topic. People either loved me or hated me, there was no in-between. If you’d ever met my mother or my grandmother, this would come as no surprise to you at all. My Granny is almost 75 and I still know people who are scared too death of her. At times, I fall into that category, myself. And patience? Forget about it! I must’ve stepped outta line the day God was handing that one out.
However, somewhere in the past 3-5 years, my fuse has gotten a lot longer and my temper has cooled off substantially. My patience levels have grown leaps and bounds. And I’ve learned that sometimes, it’s better to just sit back, shut up, and let everything play out and unfold without adding my two cents into the mix. Even if that means I have to bite my tongue, sometimes literally, I might add.
It’s taken me a long time to learn that there are some people in the world that I’m never gonna please. There are some people in the world who are never gonna like me. Although, for the life of me, I can’t figure out why. After all, I’m cute! There are some people in the world who are just naturally miserable by nature and they’re never gonna be happy with me because they’re not happy with themselves. And there are also some people in the world that are just plain threatened by anything that even remotely resembles true happiness. They thrive on misery and try to spread it around everywhere they go.
If only I could remember these things when I’m in the midst of a situation where things go terribly awry and I have absolutely no control over anything anymore.
You see, I’d like to consider myself to be a very confident woman, and for the most part, I am. But there are still those out there that lead me to question myself and every single thing I do at times. In the midst of these trying times, I find that I have to dig deep to find that confident woman who has temporarily gone into hiding somewhere deep in the bowels of my soul. I have to conjure up that super human strength that all of us women were born with, put on my big girl panties, and return to myself. Being around the people who I know truly love me for who I am also helps. People that can see past the freckles, wrinkles, crooked smile, and the opinionated and somewhat slightly mad psyche, and yet, still love me.
Patience is a virtue. I know I’ve said this to my kids many, many, many times over the years, trying to instill this wondrous quality in them. Trying desperately to make sure they don’t grow up to be impatient, demanding and quick-tempered individuals. For me, coming to this new more patient, less demanding, and slower to anger way of living has been, and continues to be, a work in progress that has spanned at least two decades.
One thing’s for sure though. My ability to hold my tongue and not let other people steal my joy has improved vastly in the last few years. It must be said though, that I’m still a work in progress, probably with a long way to go. I said I was cute, not perfect.