Wherever you go, there you are.
I came upon these words the other day when I was perusing one of the self-help books I purchased toward the end of my horribly destructive marriage in the hopes that perhaps I was the problem and I could fix me and make it all better. Turns out, I wasn’t the problem. Go figure. But that’s a story I don’t care to ever delve into in this blog. Ever.
Anyway, those words hit me like a ton of bricks when I re-read them. Wherever You Go, There You Are is actually the title of a book that, I might add, I’ve never read, by a man named Jon Kabat-Zinn. I’ve never been big on the self-help books out there ’cause I’ve always felt like I’m supposed to be able to help myself. After all, I don’t have any disabilities that might hinder me from taking care of myself, both mentally and physically. At least, I don’t think I do.
I digress. Sorry. Anyway, back to my point. These words resounded with me because I’ve found myself daydreaming lately. And not the harmless, fun kind of daydreaming, but rather the what if kind of daydreaming. You know what I’m talking about. Watching it rain and rain and rain and rain some more, I’ve found myself wishing I were at the beach. Thinking about the veritable cornucopia of dramatic things that seem to find me no matter how far off the beaten path I tend to roam has, at times, had me wondering whether or not I need to just drop off the grid for a year or two in the hopes that all will be resolved when I emerge from my hiding.
But, upon further, deeper reflection of the words, wherever you go, there you are, their true meaning dawned on me, and a deeper sense of my own inner psyche and the ramblings of my inner-most being surfaced. Violently, I might add. It doesn’t matter where on this earth I might actually be, I’m still there! It wouldn’t matter if I were sitting on a white sandy beach, with crystal blue tropical waters lapping all around me, and a coconut drink in my hand, complete with a little umbrella. My little daily dramas, that, funnily enough, don’t usually involve me or my immediate family, would still be there with me. You cannot escape the inner workings of your own psyche and you definitely cannot run from the daily problems of life that seem to never get solved, no matter how tirelessly you toil.
So, with that, I’ve decided that from now on, I’m going to be present and I’m not going to dwell on the things that I have no control over. And trust me, there are many of them. I’m going to remember that regardless of whether or not I’m on a beach, in a plane, in my car, at Wally World, the doctor’s office or on top of my mountain, those little problems and dramas are always gonna be there. They’re a part of me. And they’re not going anywhere, anytime soon.
Wherever you go, there you are. Powerful words with a deep meaning. If you can just wrap your mind around them.