Today, I am just flat-out drained. After the morning I’ve had, I’m just so thankful to be sitting here in the cabin with my family that I love so very much. That being said, I’ll go ahead and confess that I really don’t have anything profound to write about today. Not that anything I ever write about is profound in the grand scheme of things, but I’m just not feeling it today. So, I’ll just write about my morning and hope y’all don’t judge me too harshly.
Oh, and I’ll go ahead and apologize in advance, too. And thank you, once again, for being patient with me. I swear, one day I’ll get right.
You know those people out there that you have to be nice to just to keep the peace, but in reality you just wish they’d go away? You don’t have anyone like that in your life? Well, consider yourself lucky! You don’t have to play pat-a-cake with anyone you don’t care for and you don’t have to pretend to be nice just for the sake of being nice. Not to mention, it’s not legal to impose any physical harm upon these individuals without fear of certain, swift and severe punishment. Plus, harboring all that anger and resentment doesn’t hurt that person, it only hurts you.
Well, today, this ol gal had to face an old demon from the past. And by gosh, I’m pretty darn proud of myself. I handled myself rather well considering our history together, this spawn of Satan and I. But, I guess as we get older, we also get a little wiser, and we begin to see people beyond just the outer layers that might be immediately affecting our own personal demeanor. We begin to see that instead of automatically reacting with anger, perhaps we should look upon these individuals with a certain amount of sadness, and maybe even a little pity. Empathy might even play a part here somewhere, too. I don’t know, I’m still new to all these nice feelings towards certain individuals.
Anyway, back to my proud moment. I don’t have many of these involving myself. My proud moments usually come from the kids. I think that today, in this moment, this morning, I had a great deal in common with one of Dr. Seuss’ most famous characters, The Grinch. I think that perhaps the part of my heart that controls my tolerance and pity levels for others might have grown three sizes today!
For anyone out there who knows me personally, this will mean a lot more to you. For you have probably seen, or heard, or God forbid, seen and heard me rant about certain people who I just don’t care for. God love each of you for enduring this particular part of my genetic makeup. What can I say? There’s just some people out there that rub me the wrong way. But, I’m making a concerted effort with all the voices in my head to try to remember that these people don’t personally affect me. Therefore, I just need to live and let live. I don’t have to partake in their lifestyles or agree with their choices. And, the most important part of my little epiphany, absolutely nothing I say or do can, or will, change anything about these people. I can only control myself.
So, with a little help from the people who love me most, and a great deal of self-restraint from time to time on my part, I’m not gonna let these people get to me anymore. Especially this one particular old demon of mine. No, I’m going to remember that no one, not anyone on the face of this earth, can control how I react to certain people and situations, except me.
I, from this day forth, will continue to live life one day at a time and be thankful for all the people and each and every thing I have been blessed with. Sure, there will still be times that I need to vent about this person or that person because they are having an effect on me or someone I love, but the days of me worrying myself too death about things I have no control over and trying to right the world’s wrongs are gone. It’s been a long, winding, steep road to get to this point, but I can honestly say that I’ve never felt better. It feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders.
I feel better now.