Have you ever just felt off? Like something was just plain wrong? I hate when things in life affect me in such a way that it throws my whole world into a tail spin that just keeps plummeting further and further into the pits of despair. It totally goes against my belief that I’m able to handle anything that comes my way.
Now I consider myself to be a strong woman, but speaking as someone who wears her heart on her sleeve, I’m a little embarrassed to admit that sometimes the littlest things can just steal my joy right out from under me and send me right into the bowels of self loathing and sadness. So, needless to say, the big things are absolutely detrimental to my very soul.
As it turns out, the “big things” that usually bother me the most, are the things in life that I have no control over. Things that will never ever be righted by anything that I might say or do or think. And perhaps, that’s the way it’s supposed to be. After all, isn’t variety supposed to be the spice of life. Aren’t we all supposed to be different and unique? And me, ME of all people, shouldn’t I be more understanding and accepting of everyone else’s ideas, opinions, thoughts and beliefs?
So, after some deep soul-searching and a great deal of wallowing in what can only be described as the muck of the human existence, I’m happy to report that all is well within this Mountain Girl once again. The off feeling is gone, hopefully for good. Because as hard as it’s gonna be for me, I’m gonna continue with this new me that knows for certain that I can only control my actions, my words, myself! No matter how badly I want to fix everything, I now know that I’m not Super Woman and I have no special powers. I cannot fix all the world’s problems. And funnily enough, I don’t want to anymore.
To think of all the wasted time I’ve spent in my life worrying about things that are out of my control… Ugggghhhhh.
Again, this is a process and thank you all for being patient with me. 🙂